Even though I procrastinate, I somehow don't update my blog.

Quick update:

I'm working on my thesis. Getting ideas to flow together takes time.
I won 23 games in a row on Freecell yesterday.
I comment way too much on Facebook, because I don't want to work.
I am preparing my thesis / thesis presentation for the 21st, writing a paper for this Wednesday, getting stuff together to leave the country.
I plan on publishing my work, as it is pretty kick ass...the three pages I have of it.
Lots of things happen to me every day that are interesting, I need to find a way to write them down. This blog won't suffice.

SBL and other oddities.

I went to my first regional meeting of the Society of Biblical Literature yesterday. I learned that presenting a paper wasn't as scary as I had made it out to be, in fact it was quite informal. I think I can do it soon, if I can just figure out how to be more informed of when call for papers happens.

I spent 8 hours listening to lectures and talks about Hebrew Bible, archaeology, et cetera. It would have been more fun if I had actually known people there. As it was, I was one of the youngest, and one of the only girls there, so it was awkward and isolating. Regardless, it made me hopeful.

I'm looking into a variety of M.A. programs from linguistics to Biblical Languages to Bible. I think this will help me in the future for PhD applications (though I will be applying for those too, but it is highly likely that I won't get in, due to me not knowing French yet).

I had buffalo chicken pizza today. It is pretty much the best thing in the world.

That's all. So, there's an update Pete. I probably won't have internet access for the next couple of days, so don't get your hip-hugging panties in a knot.

I'm feisty!

Thanks, Pete.

I don't think I'm quite as lazy as other people when it comes to blogging, since my internet connection is sparse at best. I'm hoping to tether my computer with my phone, but my phone's battery is also slowly dying a painful death, so we'll see what happens.

My birthday was yesterday, and that's about it. I had classes and stuff to do, so Zach and I had cake with a friend last night.

I quit my Borders job, which officially makes it the shortest job I've had. I usually stay at a job until I have better options, regardless of how mind-numbing it is. But, when you can think of nothing positive about the job, including the paycheck, it is time to reconsider your options. My options: floating along, finishing my thesis, until I leave in a month, and then focus on getting a better job when I return.

I am attending a regional conference of the Society of Biblical Literature tomorrow. I get to meet two people that I've been in contact with, but never met before...in addition to seeing the different professors I've talked to. It should be fun and interesting, and I'm attending the Hebrew Bible/Archaeology sections. I hope to present next year, but we'll see.

I want a puppy, but have to wait until we make the move to Cambridge before that happens (after I get back in July).

I found out that on my Israel trip, I'm going to Jerusalem, Lachish, and Masada as well. I'm also hoping to get to the Dead Sea at some point, for the experience of just floating and covering myself in the salty mud stuff, but I don't know if that will happen.

I've watched two documentaries, one called "Word Wars" about Scrabble, and one called "Word Play" about Crosswords. It was interesting to see people to naturally manipulate words like I do, though they dedicate a lot of time to memorize word lists. Maybe after I finish the GRE, I can concentrate more on other useless skills.

I've been studying for the GRE like no one's business and am actually enjoying the process. I've pretty much studied the word lists I have, and feel pretty good about the knowledge I've acquired. I'm halfway through the Algebra review and find it easy and fun. I'm hoping to get as close to perfect on each section as I can, and have a strategy in place to achieve it (I think). I think it is doable, but if I get anywhere above a 1500+ combined total, I won't have an emotional breakdown. While I'm in Israel, I'm going to review my shorthand books (I write math formulas, words I don't know, etc as a quick reference), and take a test every week, to keep me in practice and on point. When I get back, I will take the test, and hopefully reach my goal, so I can get paid to tutor the test. And get into the programs I want this time.

My car was impounded the week before last, due to registration issues. I spent all week last week trying to get it out of the impound. Approximately $500.00 later and three trips to the DMV later, I have my car back.

That's about it. Peace in the middle east, yo.

-trisha

Gimme More...

This is where I'll be working for approximately six weeks this summer - Ashkelon, Israel. I've been accepted to and will be participating in the Leon Levy Expedition through Harvard University, digging and washing pottery. I'm one step closer to being the person most like Indiana Jones that you know. This week, I plan on buying a bull whip.






To give you an idea of where Ashkelon is in relation to the Gaza Strip, here is a map. Rockets by Hamas hit Ashkelon at the beginning of March this year, so that is a bit scary. Personally, I'm more worried about the plane flight for hours on end while flying over the ocean than working in Israel. I really hate flying. The four hour plane trip from Boston to the QCA was horrible enough. Ugh.

Other than that, Zach and I are now living with our friend, Scott. Long story short, the lady next door complained to the housing director at the college, and although I didn't get kicked out, I just didn't want to deal with having an obnoxious neighbor. We're living on the other side of the city now, but by the T, it is about the same amount of time everywhere.

Living with Scott is pretty fantastic. We all sit around and watch movies, and then they give me crap because I don't know as much as they think I do.

I'm currently reading "On Language" by Noam Chomsky. How I've never encountered his readings before now, I have no idea, since he is right on so many levels. Logically, my inner-monologue and overall skepticism and curiosity really seem to mirror his ideology. I hope to see him speak on Thursday, if possible.

I have money again, from working and student loans. This week, I am buying clothes., and stuff for the apartment to make it look like the inside of a Crate and Barrel. I'm very excited at this prospect. Don't let anyone fool you: having money makes you very happy. Anyone who tells you that people with more money have 'more problems' is full of shit.

Work sucks. Border's checks your bags every time you enter/leave the store. There are a million micro-managing rules that are arbitrary and make you feel like crap. I plan on staying until the dig, and then leaving--because I'm going to find a full-time job here for the rest of the year to "tide me over" until I get accepted to a PhD program (hopefully, Spring 2009).

Right now, the gay German guy next to me at the coffee house is really getting into "Don't Cha" by Pussycat Dolls that is playing overhead. Oh, crazy Boston!

The dream is over.

Yesterday, I was rejected from Harvard's M.T.S. program.

I have no idea where to go from here. I am trying to put the pieces together, but every shard hurts.

I generally do what I set out to do.

I'm still waiting for HDS. So, that title line might come back to bite me in the ass. I'm less stressed about it and haven't awakened in the middle of the night with that horrible tight feeling in my chest cavity. There are really about 12 more days until I should hear something (give or take), and I have a plan B and C lined up, so here's hoping.

I got the job at Borders. Although it isn't my ideal job, it is money. It will be a good source of income until I get settled here. I'm really okay with it being temporary, and I get to look at books every day, plus a discount. Not too bad for now, and I don't have to spend hours filling out mind-numbing applications online, especially with 25 page question and answer sections of "do you like working with people? strongly agree, agree, disagree, strongly disagree." Hazzah.

I've done a whole lot of research for my paper and tomorrow merits another trip to the library. There were some high school activities there today, so I didn't get to use any of the computers in the computer lab, and that set me back from where I wanted to be. My research right now, is being taken over with gender roles, how they are constructed, how we don't have a lot to go off of in an Ancient Near Eastern context. I think that I have to look at mythological archetypes from Babylon, Egypt, and (obviously) Ancient Israel to see what is predominant in masculine characters versus feminine characters. I've come to some results that I'm not comfortable sharing until I write my paper, have it critiqued, and present it, but suffice to say, I think it might be somewhat decent scholarship.

Tomorrow is my Hebrew test, wish me luck. The only thing that might trip up my translations would be Niphal verb forms, but really. I'm confident. I have a pretty solid grasp on this stuff. Vav Consecutives, jussives and cohortatives, pronomial suffixes, construct chains, imperfects - all basic first year stuff that I can do in my sleep. I'm actually pretty excited, as I think the test well be fun.

My face, for some reason, is dry, although I put loads of lotion on it. Yesterday, skin just started peeling and peeling. It might be ebola.

No, I don't think that is quite right...

Today, I had some chicken fingers delivered to me, because I wanted to work and not walk 15 minutes there and 15 minutes back (yes, I'm lazy). I tried giving them directions to my dorm but the guy was rude on the phone and he cut me off.

Imagine my surprise when I get a call from the delivery guy saying "I'm here." And I go downstairs, and he is nowhere to be found. I walk around the building, and he's not there. I wait for about five minutes, he's not there. I go back upstairs to get my coat, and I call him on my cell phone.

He says he is there, so I just go look for him on the other part of campus (it is a small campus). I ask him what color his car is, and then I find him. He gives me a lecture about how I need to give them better directions, and how he's going to be late for his next delivery. And I am very "stern" with him saying that I tried giving directions to the guy on the phone, who cut me off, but he didn't cut me off before ME saying that it was the "second building at the top of the hill" and the dorm's name. And that I didn't say the address was 230, because it is 210, and I am not stupid, and that I know my own address.

The guy apologized and I ended up giving him a tip anyway, because it wasn't his fault that the guy on the phone was a douchebag (maybe it was, but I doubt it).

So, thems the breaks kids. That's all I got.

Waiting...

My life is not on hold, but I'm waiting for a lot of things.

I interviewed with Borders (Back Bay) on Monday, and I thought it went really well. I was interviewed by the manager and the cafe manager. I was kind of expecting a call yesterday or today, offering me the job--but nothing. I've applied a million other places too, and nothing from them either. It is a little depressing, but it'll get better.

As always, I'm waiting to hear back about grad schools. I'm a bit neurotic about this, and I'm really tired of constantly thinking about it.

I did a presentation today for my Leviticus class. I wasn't as articulate as I could've been (though my handout was the best so far, I must say), but I'm hyper-critical of myself, so I'm really just going to be thankful that it is over. I'm a lot more comfortable one-on-one, and when a 1/3 of the class are studying to be rabbis, or are rabbis, it is a bit intimidating for me (the youngest non-Jew) to be telling them about Semitic philology.

I purposely endured this early for a reason--because I have to research my thesis and write it before May. I'm really looking forward to it. I can really pour all my energy into this now, and I'm excited about that at least.

Greek is going well - I need to work on pronouncing it. I understand basic conjugation of verbs, and the first declension of nouns, but I read it very slowly. Next Monday is my Hebrew test, which I will be devoting some time to studying this week. I'm not nervous at all, since I get to use a BDB.

Zach, as always, proves to be wonderful.

It is about time...

I lost my user name / password combination for this blog, so I went in and reset everything. Boy, was that a mess.

Quick update:

-In Boston now. Like it.
-Like my classes.
-Waiting for grad school admissions is aggravating.

Last night, I had a dream that I was back home. And I received a letter from Harvard saying that I had passed the first round, but they needed to test me further. So, a couple of people drive a big hot dog shaped bus to my parents house, while they were having a family picnic.
The Harvard employees proctoring the exam said that "most people pass this, and then they are guaranteed admission." I had to pass the first stage of questions, about how many graduate students Harvard has on campus, and names of buildings, et cetera. Then, I had to wear a headset that didn't work the first two times I tried this audio test, so I had to go give my headset back and have them re-set it.

Finally, I was able to take the test, which was to identify all the pop culture stuff I can through a multiple choice test (using a red and blue button with secondary functions). I had to identify songs (apparently by the Police and Run DMC)...in the middle of the test, I figure out that it was to make sure students are "well-rounded" and essentially not freakshows. So, I pass the test and I get to go to Harvard and everyone is happy.

This contrasts my last dream about Harvard admissions when I dreamt that I was rejected due to the first page of the application asking Physics questions, and the admissions committee wrote a lot of sad faces on my application.

I thought I had a great idea last night, which probably isn't a great idea. I thought if I could figure out the student formula for emails like (firstname_lastname@school.edu), then I could email myself at that domain. If they have made admissions decisions, and have sent the paperwork for email accounts to be created on the server and they have been created, then if my email doesn't come back to me = good sign. The problem is that I don't know any of the variables (like if the email accounts have been created on the server), so it really wouldn't tell me anything new, and it wouldn't make me stop being neurotic anyway because of the many flukes that could happen with email.

I generally don't fall asleep until 3 am or so because this stresses me out so much. My stomach is in knots pretty much all the time, and I'm just emotionally exhausted. 24 days until I find out, and I'm already this stressed.

life is wonderful.

I finished my final. It wasn't great, but it is done. I worked on it for 18 hours today. I anticipate a solid B in that class, which is okay with me, because I never will use that knowledge again. I promise you this.

I heard that I received an A in my summer class. This is a nice surprise, since I thought it was graded pass /fail.

I am so happy that I'm finished. I have to work for four more days, and then I'm out to Boston. I have a million things to do before then, but it'll be nice not to have this class hanging over my head.

--- School rant over ----

The best thing that has happened this week, BY FAR, is that Zach flies here on Friday, not Saturday.

He is amazing.

The last time I saw him was October 23rd, when I was crying in the security line knowing I would have to board a plane that would take me 1200 miles away from him.

The time before that was August 19th, when I had to board a plane to take me 1200 miles away from him, but I was relieved, because I felt things for him and I wasn't ready for the intensity of a relationship.

This time, I am not leaving.*

I am jumping in with both feet.
I want to love him with pure, reckless abandon.

He is beautiful. And I am humbled and grateful that he is mine.





* unless it is for Jerusalem, which has been the plan since August last year....

And if you play defender I could be your hyper space...

I said that to Scott once, and he said something to the extent of "don't tell me these things if you're too young to remember them" (my paraphrase).

I keep myself busy with tasks and projects than cultivating meaningful relationships. I am socially awkward, and have a low tolerance for small talk, chit-chat, or anything that can generate the superficial topics of "what do you do?" "what music do you like?" or "have you seen / heard (this movie / this song)?" because it doesn't mean anything. Because of this combined with my solitary nature, there are only a few people who mean the world to me. Scott is one of those people.

Boy, do I miss him.I reflect on this past spring/summer too much, like when he drank wine and I drank ice tea--he was my lifeline more than on any high-ratings game show. I wish I could go back in time, walk with him in the park, and erase certain people and events from that day. While I rolled up my pant legs and waded in the fountain (even though it was barely warm enough), he tried to put the mysterious, evasive pieces of my life together, like Johnny Staccato, while smoking a cigarette. I believe I curled up in the fetal position, on a stone bridge over a creek, and broke down. For some strange reason, that day meant a lot to me, despite the self-willed pain, unwise and masochistic, it hurt. It didn't hurt less because he was there, but his presence makes reflecting on the past more beautiful. (If he knew this, he'd probably still only get himself off while thinking of mayonnaise lathered on female robots with leather fetishes.)

Once, he serenaded me with the theme of Planet Unicorn when we were in my car. Then we drank moderately, and I watched him flirt mercilessly with other girls, and it amused me, delighted me, and while they were captivating his attention, I felt a bit of avarice, a bit of sadness, and a lot of tequila. He is quite charming, that one.

There was a time, when I was self-righteous and wrong, and I told him my opinion. He got mad, and we didn't speak for awhile. He yelled at me in a restaurant. Thankfully, Zach was there to mediate and console. I cried, out of shock, embarrassment, hurt, and the fact that he was mostly right. I had never seen him so upset, so frustrated, or ever really, raise his voice, other than to say "zappy doodles," so it was quite disconcerting. Things were awkward until the mojitos kicked in, concurrently with supplication and penitence, and we had a beautiful time.

There are some moments that cannot be defined by verbosity.

I hope for more in Boston.

She's Crafty...

This week has been exhausting for me. I'm working 40 hours at a coffee shop, applying to Oxford, finishing up two weeks worth of classes + a final, and a myriad of miscellaneous, mundane activities not even worth a bullet-point list.

Working at the coffee shop generates insanity overflowing from a demitasse cup. It pays the bills and that's really what matters. I completed sudoku, crosswords, and the cryptoquote today during "work" because it was slow and everything else was done (I cleaned everything earlier in the week, cabinets, drawers, etc). For the record, I'm a lot better at the cryptoquote than anything else, maybe it is due to my penchant for patterns in language.

I really cannot wait for my "week off" in Boston. I have a reading list a mile long of books I've purchased, but haven't read yet. It includes:
-Ulysses
-The Fountainhead
-Mrs. Dalloway
-Fear and Trembling
-Works of Love
-Soren Kirkegaard (A biography)
-A Hundred Years of Solitude
-Satanic Verses

It is a bit unnerving that with a degree in English, I haven't read either Virginia Woolf or Salman Rushdie. I cannot wait to enjoy getting lost in text again. Especially text not beckoning to be graded, or submitted.

Eight days until Zach is here, and counting down hours and minutes occupy the majority of my thoughts and activities.

I didn't write this, but I can relate.
------
Exit - Linford Detweiler
------
I have to leave the city now, she said,
Or dash my soul against my will instead.

I do not wish to have the quiet part of me
That once could rest (the part
That could just be) tossed
Aside and left somewhere
For dead.

Tonight it seems to me
That what some friends call energy
Is nothing more than a phenomenon of nature known as
"Incurable Whirling Disease."

Please, take me far from here, she said,
The buildings sting and echo
With the fumy cries of yellowjacket cars.

I took her hand in mine and said,
I'm thinking of a place now
Where I used to have to tell myself
Aloud,
Those are not clouds,
They're stars.

Intergalactic, Planetary, Planetary,...

My other blog collapsed under the weight of emotional turmoil, relationship failure, and personal defeat. Simply put, I lacked the freedom to write with complete transparency, for many reasons--now irrelevant.

I plan to chronicle my new adventures in life here, regardless how vacuous it may seem.

Cheers to better times ahead.